Life before an Audience of One

This is a really great quote:

Look not at pride only as an unbecoming temper, nor at humility only as a decent virtue: for the one is death, and the other is life; the one is all hell, the other is all heaven.

- Spirit of Prayer, Pt.II, p.73, Edition of Moreton, Canterbury, 1893.

Posted by Camillia at 1:14 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Ron Downing’s team is going through Psalm 119 this morning. Verse one and two say

Blessed are the undefiled in the way, Who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies. Who seek Him with the whole heart!

The Psalms are truly fascinating. They always encourage you to pursue God wholeheartedly, holding nothing back. With David being the writer for most of them, you can see why he was called a man after God’s heart. Though he screwed up many times (like all of us), his heart’s desire was always to be wholehearted in his pursuit of God. That desire never wavered.

Before Ron’s team headed into the Antiphonal time I was meditating on Psalm 15. Psalm 15 writes out the character of those who may dwell with the Lord. Seeing as that’s an earnest desire of mine, I’m hoping to walk out Psalm 15 in every aspect of my life. Here’s what it says.

Psalm 15
1 LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
Who may dwell in Your holy hill?

2 He who walks uprightly,
And works righteousness,
And speaks the truth in his heart;
3 He who does not backbite with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
4 In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
But he honors those who fear the LORD;
He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
5 He who does not put out his money at usury,
Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things shall never be moved.

Never be moved. Incredible. Psalm 1 speaks in similar terms. The way of the righteous will make him like a tree planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither. Psalm 1:3

Just a little blurb from my thoughts this morning. I haven’t forgotten the Purity and Holiness post. It has become a little bit of a series and so I’m still writing out some entries and would rather they all be together:)

Posted by Camillia at 9:35 a.m. | Permalink | Comments

The Biblical call to living a life of purity and holiness has been water-downed, mocked and downplayed for too long and it grieves my heart.

Just another of the many things going through my mind for the past couple days. I have a full post coming on this subject later but I wanted to get that out there.

It's time to be truly set-apart for God.

Posted by Camillia at 9:46 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

I’ve been reading The Attributes of God Vol.1 by Tozer while in the PR this past week. For a couple days I’ve been meditating on the Immensity of God. There’s a small section in the chapter that brought me back to why I seek the face of the Lord.

God made only you in His image and you’re stuck with it, sinner and Christian both. You’re made in the image of God, and nothing short of God will satisfy you. And even if you happen to be one of those “nickel-in-the-slot, get saved to escape hell and take heaven” Christians (that poor little kindergarten view of heaven), remember one thing---even you will find over the years that you are not content with “things plus God.” You’ll have to have God minus all things.
…But as soon as I set my hopes and comforts upon things and people, I’ll lose something out of my heart. It dare not be things and God, it dare not be people and God: it must be God and nothing else. Then whatever else God gives us, we can hold at arm’s length and hold it dear for Jesus’ sake. And we can love it for His sake, but it is not necessary to our happiness. If there’s anything necessary to your eternal happiness but God, you’re not yet the kind of Christian that you ought to be. For only God is the true rest.

So often the relationship that should be God and then things becomes “things plus God”. Especially in this time in history where our society is so materialistic; God is easily put on the back burner. It hurts my heart to go to church’s and hear “consumer Christianity” preached. Isn’t it time that we stop lusting after the desires of the flesh and the things of this world and desire the one thing that will only satisfy?

If you notice, even when we have “things”, we still desire more. This leads to covetousness, greed and other perversities of the heart. It’s because the void you’re trying to fill can only be filled with the pleasures of loving God. You were created to fellowship with and gaze upon a beautiful God. And until it becomes God and then things, you will always desire more things.

The Bible addresses this issue in a few places (more than I have included here):

Matthew 5:6 (NKJV) 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.
John 4:14 (NKJV) 14but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”
Isaiah 55:1-2 (NKJV) 1“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money, Come, buy and eat. Yes, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. 2Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness , and all these things shall be added to you.
Matthew 22:37 (NKJV) 37 Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” 38 “This is the first and great commandment.

And when we come to Him, and put Him first, He takes pleasure in us. We’re satisfied and happy. He’s happy. It’s all mutual happiness!

Back to Tozer’s thoughts.

God takes great pleasure in having a helpless soul come to Him simply and plainly and intimately. He takes pleasure in having us come to Him. This kind of Christianity doesn’t draw big crowds. It only draws those who have their hearts set on God, who want God more than they want anything else in the world. These people want the spiritual experience that comes from knowing God for Himself. They could have everything stripped away from them and still have God.
These people are not vastly numerous in any given locality. This kind of Christianity doesn’t draw big crowds, but it is likely to draw the hungriest ones, the thirstiest ones and some of the best ones. And so God takes great pleasure in having helpless people come to Him, simply and plainly and intimately. He wants us to come without all that great overloading of theology. He wants us to come as simply and as plainly as a little child. And if the Holy Spirit touches you, you’ll come like that.

The hunger and thirst that we have for God is our gift within. It’s God’s gift to mankind to hunger for more of Him. Tozer once said “To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love.” Though He satisfies, there is still the hunger of more. This is because you can never exhaust the being of God. I suppose that could fall under the Infinitude of God, which shall be saved for another post.:)

So I seek to have a relationship that is always God and then things. I know in my heart that “things” won’t satisfy so I continue to pursue the one thing that does satisfy. God Himself!

Posted by Camillia at 1:12 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

The Queen of Sheba left her home land, where she heard of the fame of Solomon She heard he carried a great deal of knowledge and in half-belief and half-curiosity she left Sheba and traveled to Jerusalem to seek out Solomon’s wisdom.

Once she arrived, she bore her soul, and spoke with him about everything in her heart.

Solomon answered all her questions effortlessly, no question or problem was too difficult for him to answer.

When I was leaving Winnipeg, someone had told me this is what they felt was the same thing for me, and reading through it, it makes sense now; except instead of Solomon, I’ve come seeking the wisdom of God (much better, I might add!)

So far, QoS’s thoughts on Solomon are similar to my thoughts on the wisdom of God.

2 Chronicles 9: 5 Then she said to the king: “It was a true report which I heard in my own land about your words and your wisdom. 6 However I did not believe their words until I came and saw with my own eyes; and indeed the half of the greatness of your wisdom was not told me. You exceed the fame of which I heard. 7 Happy are your men and happy are these your servants, who stand continually before you and hear your wisdom!

You exceed the fame of which I heard. What a statement!

That sums up how it’s been for me for the past couple days. I had heard of God’s wisdom, and knew about some of it for myself, but spending hours everyday searching it out, I’ve discovered that His wisdom far exceeds the fame of which I heard.

And I’m still only on the mere edges of this wisdom! The songwriter says it this way: we have only heard the faintest whispers of how great You are.” Job 26:14

2 Chronicles 9:7 Happy are your men and happy are these your servants, who stand continually before you and hear your wisdom!

I’ve talked to some of the full-time staff here and that’s their testimony. They are happy! What an awesome privilege to stand continually before God and hear His wisdom. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, I count it a privilege to do this, if only for a couple months.

2 Chronicles 9:9b - there never were any spices such as those the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon.

I want the praises and the prayers that I offer up to God to be like the spices the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon; they’d never been seen before in Jerusalem and I bet they probably weren’t seen again!

What happened after the QoS poured out her soul, got her questions answered, and gave the King a small portion of her (what must have been) extravagant wealth?

2 Chronicles 9:12 12Now King Solomon gave to the queen of Sheba all she desired, whatever she asked, much more than she had brought to the king. So she turned and went to her own country, she and her servants.

3 things are given to her here. King Solomon gave to her 1)ALL she desired 2)WHATEVER she asked and 3)MUCH MORE than she had brought to the king.

While I’m here, I want to give everything that I possibly can to God. Like Mary of Bethany, or the widow with her two mites; whatever I have is His.

Not just for the rewards or benefits that He gives, but for the greatest gift of all; Himself. My eternal reward is Jesus and I want to delve the depths of His heart, as deep as I can go. I want to know His heartbeat, the yearnings, the groanings and the burnings of His heart.

You’re a mystery, so intriguing. You’re a mystery, so inviting……. I want to waste my life to search you out, search you out.

Proverbs 25:2 (NKJV) 2It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter.

Posted by Camillia at 7:45 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

I forgot to mention this little fun tidbit.

Only at IHOP would you receive a prophetic word from a complete stranger while waiting in line for the washroom. And not any old "you're blessed and favoured" word (though those are awesome too). But what he said was also almost identical to a couple other words I had received; 1 in August while I was here and another in October in Winnipeg. Super encouraging:)


Also, an encouraging supernatural provision story:

The Luke18 Project Leadership Summit was happening this week at IHOP. One of the attendees came with absolutely no money, to the point of someone else paying his ticket to get here. Yesterday he receieved a phone call from back home notifying him that he just inherited 2.5 Million dollars. The entire family inherited 25 Mil. with him receiving 10% of the cut.

Talk about provision! It proves that at any moment, when you're least expecting it, your situation could drastically change. Keep believing! Yea God!

Posted by Camillia at 9:21 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

So I'm now in Kansas City and fairly settled in. The room is set up, the concrete schedule begins Monday with the GBF and things will be in full swing after that.

I won't go into the details of the crazy hassle of getting here, I'll just say I'm God's favorite and His favour was upon me when crossing the border (2nd attempt)!

Shane has been bugging me to post for the past couple days so here's a first installment. I don't have internet at the place I'm staying at, so I only get it when sitting in Higher Grounds (or the PR or FSM).

Heres how it's been for the first few days.

Yucky. In the positive sense:)

My mind is full of ideas and revelation, all in different places/situations and I'm hashing them out on different entries to be posted when finished.

One of the big things that has been happening (which I feared) is the pulling up of heart issues that I didn't even know existed! He's pointing them out gently, but it's still painful. Of couse I won't go into detail but there's is definitely a great deal of gracce needed to endure.

Last year, right around this time is when I started SHOP and heard of IHOP. This is when my house of the knowledge of God came crashing down, even to the point of breaking the foundation to start all over again. God is great, and I sure didn't know Him then.

Even more so now, God is great, and I do not know Him. It's humbling to acknowledge that. Any theories I had of God before have definitely been trashed and I'm starting all over again. Rebuilding the house from the ground up; Hopefully on a correct foundation this time;)

It's definitely an interesting experience and I'm excited to see how things are, even by next week!

That's it for now. I hope you're all doing well back home and even as SHOP is going on right now, I'll be in the PR here praying for you guys!

Posted by Camillia at 5:13 p.m. | Permalink | Comments